I was fat.
Even now, after all the lost pounds and inches, it’s hard to admit. I had let myself go completely; my body hurt every morning, I was ashamed of how I looked, and I avoided pools and beaches like the plague. Worst of all? I was still in my 20’s and worried about how much worse it could get. What kind of life would I have at 40?
I wasn’t in the best of places when I finally made a change. I was unhappy with my body and whether or not I would have admitted it then, I was unhappy with myself. I frequently had negative thoughts about myself, which carried over into the relationships and interactions with friends and family. I thought to myself, “If I don’t love me, how could they love me?”. Turns out it was more than just my body that was unhealthy.
I didn’t just hate my body, I hated myself. By letting my body go, I allowed my mind to turn negative and in turn it destroyed my spirit. Gone was the happy go-lucky Boris that could get along with anyone, I was a mess on the outside and inside. You often hear that weight loss is more “mental” than physical and my journey towards being fit has proven this to be the case. Fitness and weight loss has to be a complete solution and I learned this the hard way.
When I started my journey all those years back there was a myriad of information on the internet, seemingly none of it making sense. Do this one exercise for abs! Melt pounds of your waist in weeks! Do this diet! It was an assault of misinformation and an industry that cares far more about profit margins than it does the people it’s trying to help. Determined, I soldiered through, made some mistakes, tried some stupid diets, and pretty much tried everything to see what worked.
In the end I found myself slowly but surely restoring my body. I learned that 95% of weight loss happens at home and not in the gym. I learned the importance of sleep and proper hydration, things I knew to be important as a child but neglected as the hubub of life crept in. I stopped taking short cuts, ate clean, lifted hard and did my cardio even when I didn’t want to. The results started flowing in and at first I was elated, but then realized something was missing…
I was physically fit but not mentally fit. I still thought of myself as a fat person: turns out just because you lose the weight doesn’t mean you regain the confidence you once had. I started meditating, started playing organized sports in social settings, started writing about my experiences. Little by little my confidence came back, the positive thoughts came back and I was making the kinds of choices only a confident individual would make. After years of work my spirit was restored.
I became a certified trainer and started writing articles on weight loss and nutrition. Truthfully, I got into training to help others so they didn’t have to do this journey alone like I did. I still love my job and the impact I have as a healthcare worker, but training allows me to find fulfillment by directly helping others. I want to show people the way not only to restoring their body, but also their mind and spirit.
I’m launching a new website in the coming days to expand upon the training work I currently do. I’ll be posting articles, workouts, recipes, everything that I’ve sifted through and curated on my road to recovery, if you will. I’m less concerned about building a brand than I am on making a direct impact on people who are where I was all those years and pounds back. The major theme is easy to get: Body. Mind. Spirit. It’s a total solution to something we often view as a one dimensional problem.
I’ll keep you guys updated when we launch and will make it a point to post new articles and insights frequently, all of which will be free for consumption. My goal is to build a community of people who have transformed together and one day be able to help others themselves. I’d love for you to join me on this endeavor.